When I met her she was on the bottom of a down slide. She started to bounce back up when she met me. Not that I was the reason so much as I was part of the situation that ignited her, and I, to start crazy living.
Rocky was from a large family that resided in the Appalachians. She was very different from everyone around her from the day she was born and knew it. She loved reading when everyone around her despised it. she wanted to leave from day one when everyone else either wanted to stay, or only talked of leaving but stayed anyway. She spent a lot of time alone and bored out of her mind. In other words we had a lot in common, even though we were very different in many ways. She handled boredom they way most normal kids do, by getting into trouble. I was odd in the sense that I didn't know I was bored until she came along. When I unleashed I was older and not eased into the world. I am lucky to be alive and not in jail.
Rocky had a lot of sisters, brothers, cousins, and she wasn't sure how she was related to any of them. Her mother had apparently had many lovers and the man Rocky thought was her father, wasn't. It took her months to get her mother to admit her father was alive and many more months to tell her who he was and where he might be. That was all the excuse she needed to take off and get away from her home town. She had a relative that owed her father money he got calls every once in while from him demanding it. When she got to my town she almost left right away. She thought this placed looked worse than where she was from. She met her father who acted annoyed and disinterested. She stuck around a few weeks and was about to leave when she met me.
Rocky was small but scary. She was pretty, but hid it in her dark mess of hair and black clothes - hooded sweat shirts and black neck scarves. Her eyes were blue and the thick black eyeliner only made them more intense. You already know she smoked a lot, but he also drank beer, not to excess and she never seemed drunk - she seemed to drink because she liked it. I only knew her for a short time before I left, but we seemed to click. I did most of the talking, but she listened and stuck around, she seemed to like it as much as I did. At this point I really missed her and didn't quite understand why.
Both our lives were pretty bleak and uneventful before we met and we bot had large chunks of time we couldn't remember.
Showing posts with label Rocky. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rocky. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I return home - hell
I spent a few days just hanging around the outside of Rockies trailer. On the drive back to town she barely looked at me but once and never spoke. She smoked and drove until we got to town. She never asked "where to?" she just dropped my ass off at the entrance to the ramp and took off. But this allowed me to see where she went.
This "town" is a cluster of very old houses, about fifty, and a large ring of trailer homes around the houses in an arc. That's it. No one really knows why they were here, but some think they were abandoned homes that workers stayed while mining or something. This makes sense as there is no running water, no electricity, and no mail, or services of any kind. Most people have lanterns, candles and fire pits for light. A few have generators. At the moment I had nothing. The house I was in was deteriorating rapidly. The roof was blowing off bit by bit when the wind picked up. The front door was warped and didn't close. Half the windows were broken and there was debris all around. All I ever really had was some lawn furniture and a ton of crap left by my parents. The lawn furniture was useful so I was aware of it, but the rest of the stuff was just piles and piles of seemingly garbage. I spent most of my time in the front room sitting in the lawn chairs and sleeping or simply trying not to go insane. I knew I needed to do something but was empty and clueless as to what to do – I was paralyzed in hell. The only things that let me know I was alive was the rising and setting of the sun and the train passing by outside of town.
The train runs frequently past our town and cuts across the interstate a few miles out of town. On the other side of the interstate from us is nothing but flat endless desert. I spent a few weeks bumming food off neighbors, but the pickings were slim. I spent the rest of my time staying around Rockies trailer. I had to hover around the northern side because her dad had a gun and a temper. There are a lot of bitter and desperate people here, but he was one of the most bitter. After a while Rocky walked up to me out of the blue and asked me what the f*** do I want. I didn't know what to say.
Out of nowhere my mind snapped and I said I want out of hell. She cocked her head sideways and looked almost like she was smiling. I will never forget this moment in my life as it was the moment my life changed – no the moment it started.
Next: The plans are laid
This "town" is a cluster of very old houses, about fifty, and a large ring of trailer homes around the houses in an arc. That's it. No one really knows why they were here, but some think they were abandoned homes that workers stayed while mining or something. This makes sense as there is no running water, no electricity, and no mail, or services of any kind. Most people have lanterns, candles and fire pits for light. A few have generators. At the moment I had nothing. The house I was in was deteriorating rapidly. The roof was blowing off bit by bit when the wind picked up. The front door was warped and didn't close. Half the windows were broken and there was debris all around. All I ever really had was some lawn furniture and a ton of crap left by my parents. The lawn furniture was useful so I was aware of it, but the rest of the stuff was just piles and piles of seemingly garbage. I spent most of my time in the front room sitting in the lawn chairs and sleeping or simply trying not to go insane. I knew I needed to do something but was empty and clueless as to what to do – I was paralyzed in hell. The only things that let me know I was alive was the rising and setting of the sun and the train passing by outside of town.
The train runs frequently past our town and cuts across the interstate a few miles out of town. On the other side of the interstate from us is nothing but flat endless desert. I spent a few weeks bumming food off neighbors, but the pickings were slim. I spent the rest of my time staying around Rockies trailer. I had to hover around the northern side because her dad had a gun and a temper. There are a lot of bitter and desperate people here, but he was one of the most bitter. After a while Rocky walked up to me out of the blue and asked me what the f*** do I want. I didn't know what to say.
Out of nowhere my mind snapped and I said I want out of hell. She cocked her head sideways and looked almost like she was smiling. I will never forget this moment in my life as it was the moment my life changed – no the moment it started.
Next: The plans are laid
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
A new town - bigger
I walked for eight hours to get to the next town.
A new and bigger town, but not by much - 2,300 people. But here there are some businesses, people coming and going. I wander the streets looking for something but I don't know what. I am hungry so I eat, I am tired so I sleep in the booth, I am bored but what do I do? After an hour I am asked to leave by the manager, so I do. I window shop for hours looking at nothing.
The sun is setting and it is getting colder - the wind blows in fast from the darkness as the sun drops. I am feeling lonely for the first time in my life - not alone because I like that, but deeply lonely. I need to get home. I don't want to hitchhike so I go back to the bus station, nothing more than a sign next to the gas station in the center of town. There is no schedule, no bench, one light and a lot of time to kill. I have never felt so miserable in my life. I didn't know what to do. I guess I should have simply waited, but not me - I started walking. And I didn't walk towards home, I push myself away towards the dark unknown.
I wasn't ready for this trip at all. I had nothing, no money and no plan. What I did have was the ability to not care. I walked all night to keep warm and for lack of anything better to do. As the sun came up I saw ---- nothing. I was in the middle of nowhere. I did come across a rest stop and lay on a table for an hour. A family stopped for a minute and a cop drove by but surprisingly didn't talk to me. I was wondering what I should do and suddenly realized I was a dumb ass for getting myself here. I stood, crossed the highway, and started back. That's when I decided to hitchhike - a trucker stopped and took me back to the town I had come from. I had walked for hours but the ride back took From there took minutes. The trucker tried talking to me but I was pretty sullen. I thanked him and jumped out and went back into the diner. There I spent my last few bucks on some food and started back up the road. That's when she stopped, a girl from my town. A few years younger and really cute. She had one of the few vehicles in town. She recognized me and stopped. An answer to a prayer in more than one way.
This girl was the reason I left this town shortly after this first aborted attempt at leaving and came back years later. Her name was Rocky. Rocky was the nickname given to her by her cousins because she was a goth and wore dark makeup and clothes. They said it made her eyes look like a raccoon's - Rocky Raccoon. Anyway she lived with her father, a disabled vet who never left his trailer. Her story is an interesting one and it started years before we met.
Next, I return home and soon after board it up.
A new and bigger town, but not by much - 2,300 people. But here there are some businesses, people coming and going. I wander the streets looking for something but I don't know what. I am hungry so I eat, I am tired so I sleep in the booth, I am bored but what do I do? After an hour I am asked to leave by the manager, so I do. I window shop for hours looking at nothing.
The sun is setting and it is getting colder - the wind blows in fast from the darkness as the sun drops. I am feeling lonely for the first time in my life - not alone because I like that, but deeply lonely. I need to get home. I don't want to hitchhike so I go back to the bus station, nothing more than a sign next to the gas station in the center of town. There is no schedule, no bench, one light and a lot of time to kill. I have never felt so miserable in my life. I didn't know what to do. I guess I should have simply waited, but not me - I started walking. And I didn't walk towards home, I push myself away towards the dark unknown.
I wasn't ready for this trip at all. I had nothing, no money and no plan. What I did have was the ability to not care. I walked all night to keep warm and for lack of anything better to do. As the sun came up I saw ---- nothing. I was in the middle of nowhere. I did come across a rest stop and lay on a table for an hour. A family stopped for a minute and a cop drove by but surprisingly didn't talk to me. I was wondering what I should do and suddenly realized I was a dumb ass for getting myself here. I stood, crossed the highway, and started back. That's when I decided to hitchhike - a trucker stopped and took me back to the town I had come from. I had walked for hours but the ride back took From there took minutes. The trucker tried talking to me but I was pretty sullen. I thanked him and jumped out and went back into the diner. There I spent my last few bucks on some food and started back up the road. That's when she stopped, a girl from my town. A few years younger and really cute. She had one of the few vehicles in town. She recognized me and stopped. An answer to a prayer in more than one way.
This girl was the reason I left this town shortly after this first aborted attempt at leaving and came back years later. Her name was Rocky. Rocky was the nickname given to her by her cousins because she was a goth and wore dark makeup and clothes. They said it made her eyes look like a raccoon's - Rocky Raccoon. Anyway she lived with her father, a disabled vet who never left his trailer. Her story is an interesting one and it started years before we met.
Next, I return home and soon after board it up.
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